“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
If we take a minute or two and watch commercials on TV, we see how enamored our society is with charm and beauty. The men and women portrayed in commercials and on most regular TV programs have been touched up and wear the perfect clothes, have perfect hair, and wear the perfect make-up. Yet who decided what was perfect? Where did we get this ideal?
Men and women looking for spouses have fallen for the same trap of looking for charm and beauty. Too often we set ourselves up for defeat, looking for Prince Charming or waiting for a prince to invite us to the ball. We sit at home pining for a prince, hoping for the magical invitation, and the magical dance only to be filled with disappointment when none of this occurs.
Rather than looking, we should focus on being. If a man looks for a woman that is only charming and beautiful, but does not take the time to really evaluate her character, the charm and beauty becomes an illusion when the reality of life hits the newlyweds square in the face. When the woman has won her man, she no longer has to be charming and her true character is revealed. Instead of a charming woman with an attitude of graciousness, the mask of deceit is removed and the true woman is revealed. Her charm was a facade that was only used to win the heart of her husband. Her true character is revealed when the laundry needs done, meals need to be made, or children need to be cared for. When old age hits and that beautiful and voluptuous body the man was drawn to becomes saggy and wrinkly, will he beat a hasty retreat because that is not what he signed up for? Or will they spend thousands on cosmetic surgery so she can keep her girlish figure and looks even at the age of sixty?
So if a man is not to be wooed by a woman’s charm and beauty, what should he be looking for? A woman who fears the Lord. This woman may be attractive, gracious, and charming; but at the root of her character is the fear of the Lord.” What does this look like?
- What does she talk about? Superficial things that have no value tomorrow. Or the things of the Lord-what she learned in her devotions or what God is teaching her?
- What does she do? Is she looking to be entertained or does she look for opportunities of service? Is she lazing about or serving her family and “reaching her hands to the poor?” Proverbs 31:20).
- Who or what does she care about? This is seen by her actions. Is she a drama queen looking for attention for herself or is she “opening her hands to the poor?” (Proverbs 31:20). Is she known for her compassion for others or is she looking for ways to take advantage of someone or of a situation? What are her true motives?
Solomon in his musings in the twelve chapters of Ecclesiastes finally came to the conclusion that “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing whether good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14). Where is our search in becoming the virtuous woman? Are we seeking to “fear God and keep His commandments” or are we seeking to fulfill our own selfish desires through our charm and beauty? In the end “every secret thing God will judge.” (Ecclesiastes 12:14). “A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30).
- There is a lot of discussion about our outward appearances. God made women beautiful and appealing to men. However, He wants us to remember that our true character does not fade. How does I Timothy 2:9, 10 relate to this concept?
- Read Psalm 115:13. What is the promise?
- Read Proverbs 2:5. What will you gain?
- Read Ecclesiastes 12:13. What is our duty?
- Are there any other verses you can think of that relate to the “fear of the Lord?”
- What does “the fear of the Lord” mean to you?
- How do we acquire “the fear of the Lord?”
- Read Daniel 6. What was the most important thing to Daniel? Can the same be said about you?